The beginning.

Dear reader, it is lovely to meet you.

I have felt a call to present my insights on a public platform for some time. As life gets crazier at this end of the year (and we can most likely blame a host of planet retrogrades for that), the call has become an insistent, daily blaring horn.

I very much hope that my story and my insights are in some way helpful for you and your own journey.

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One clear Friday night in June last year, my life changed forever.

I had finished my working day as the sun set, picked up a Friday bottle of wine, and arrived home. The week had been mostly unremarkable, if not slightly busier than usual. I was tired as I had been working extra hours in my capacity as a therapist, to help an injured colleague cover their list.

My puppy greeted me at the door. She had been my saving grace those last couple of months as my life had been thrust into personal upheaval. I had learned so much about myself in such a short period of time. I had recently found (and continue to find since) that time alone to commune with myself was priceless and very rarely felt lonely, but she has been such lovely company to me, and helps with my grounding in a very practical and timely fashion.

I showered and changed, approached the bench in my kitchen and looked at my phone. There was a message from my aunt. My heart rate spiked.

“You are your mother’s soul left on this earth.”

As I read it, the light streamed in through my kitchen window from the full moon and I felt the floodgates of my soul open. I had the profound and sudden knowledge that I was the universe personified. I cried for two hours, feeling overwhelmed. That night, I met myself. What I understood of the universe and my place in it had burst wide open. I am still dealing with the repercussions now.

What I understand now about that moment was that I had what could be labelled as a spontaneous kundalini awakening, and spiritual awakening at the same time. I had never heard of these phenomena before, and I think the fact they happened in concert meant I stayed in peace for the “show”. I met my ego that night, I met my “four”, the part of myself that brings order and control to my life. This part of myself was particularly strong and made (makes?) addressing my ego and future shadow work a much more intense (and necessary) process.

How had I forgotten that it was my mum’s birthday? She had passed away only five and a half years prior, and we were very close. To this day, I strongly believe that she was present that week, and together with my own subconscious had hidden from me the knowledge that her birthday was approaching.

Many lessons have come my way since that night, and I would like to share them with you as we go - as well as give my own insights into what is happening around us in real-time.

(** I will come to my beliefs in further blog posts - but essentially, my viewpoint boils down to non-dualism, that I am the universe expressing and experiencing itself, just as you are.)

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Why another spirituality blog?

As I began to go through life with a very different view point to my previous way of operating (and believe me when I say they are MILES apart), I have found that there is not much guidance for the phenomena I am experiencing (except to say that I am certain that I am NOT alone in my experiences). A lot of my insights come to me through spontaneous "aha!" moments while meditating or auto-writing, that would likely be called "downloads" in the spiritual community, and while I have found clarity from asking for guidance from "spirit" for what these messages mean in my life, I have not found much help online.

As the collective now goes through a period of stress (and hopefully, subsequent growth and spontaneous awakenings), it is my hope that the lessons I have garnered can be of help. On the other hand, if it does turn out that I am going insane, maybe this will help my future psychotherapists with my diagnoses.

"To recognize one's own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence."

- Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

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